I'm Never Going Out in Public Again

That's what I tell myself each time I walk out of an establishment with everyone looking at me and my screaming children. 

This time it was American Dream Pizza.  My friend and I were trying to live the good life.  It was Will's last day of school and I was ready to celebrate the start of winter vacation.  I decided we should go out to lunch.  On the way, my friend Stephanie calls, trying to stir up some fun for the kids.  She tells me she is taking the bus downtown to see the trains (there are a couple of displays set up around town for Christmas).  That sounded great and we decided to tag along to see the trains and THEN get a bite to eat.  Lalala, isn't this always the stay at home mom dream that you've always imagined?  I was even contemplating stopping at Burst's chocolates to get some bon bons to eat while I watched some daytime television as the children napped the afternoon away.  Ha!

Okay, so the trains were actually pretty dreamy.  The kids were having a great time and just excited about life.  It was super cute to see them so happy over the whole set up.  Now it was time to head out for some lunch.  We knew the little people were going to get cranky if we didn't feed them soon.  One of the kids spotted American Dream and wanted to eat there.  Stephanie and I looked at each other as if to say, why not?  Besides, you can hardly walk by that place without getting a slice.  It's a little crazy around lunchtime, but it didn't seem unmanageable.  We stood in line and ordered our slices while the kids sat at a table and colored.  Will may have been trying to lift Patrick over his head, but it all seemed pretty much in control, for the most part.  We gobbled down our lunch and corralled kids.  Stephanie and I had to part ways because it was time for her to catch the next bus home.  That's when it all went to hell.  Something clicked in Ella's brain and she wanted to ride the bus too.  I tried to reason with her, but it was too late for that.  The fit was underway like a derailed Lionel train.  Ever the compassionate friend and mother, Stephanie offered to take Ella with her. The offer was tempting, but I knew I would only be reinforcing Ella's bad behavior by rewarding her tantrum.  I also knew that Will would have to tag along and I just could not, in good conscience, send Stephanie off to wrangle four little ones on the city bus.  I thanked Stephanie for her kind offer and we said our goodbyes.  Meanwhile, we were still in the restaurant and Ella's tantrum was escalating. I bent down to her level and tried to calm her down.  As I was doing so, Audrey toddled away from me, right into the line of fire.  A man walking to the restroom did not see Audrey toddling underfoot. She fell backwards onto the ground and hit her head on the hard floor.  Audrey is one tough cookie, but that was a bad spill.  I immediately scooped her up after watching this go down in slow motion.  Then there was silence.  Wait, I should specify...silence from Audrey, Ella is still wailing in the background.  Then, an eruption of tears from another one of my children.  Poor Will is just hanging out this whole time.  Praise the Lord God in heaven. 

Could it get better?  As I'm comforting my baby, talking Ella down from the ledge and trying to get the heck out of the restaurant, two respected professors from grad school came around the corner.  Someone I know and respect to witness this event in my life.  Alright!  I could not think of anything witty to say or come up with a little joke to offset my circumstance.  I dragged our sorry selves out of there and had to walk a few blocks to the car.  Honestly, I can't even remember how we got there.  I just know that Ella was screaming the whole way and I was attracting a whole NEW crowd of onlookers. 

A sweet woman on the street noticed my predicament and offered some sympathetic words of encouragement.  I really wanted to cry on her shoulder, but alas, Ella was trying to throw herself into oncoming traffic, so my therapy session was cut short.   

It's hard being three.  One little injustice, like not being able to ride the bus home, can throw you into a tailspin. Your emotions can overtake you and you have to learn to navigate them.  That's what this age is all about, mastering your emotions and expressing them WITHOUT screaming like a she banshee. 

Ella has taught me a lot in her three short years of life.  I am growing (albeit slowly) in two areas that I have been praying about and those are strength and patience.  Strength to be the mom that she needs to be.  The person that is in control when she is not.  Also, strength to buckle three children into their car seats in rapid fire succession.

Ella's Friends

I always secretly hoped that my kids would have imaginary friends.  Maybe you think that's nerdy.  Maybe it is.  I don't care.  :)  Will had/has his guinea pigs (mini basketballs that he toted around in a tool box) and his cousins from Washington and California.  Ella now has Ooj-bakooj, Powow and Ayayay(Spanish pronunciation).  It makes me smile just typing that out.  It cracks me up.  They are sometimes imaginary people, but sometimes Ella, Will and Audrey are the characters.  Ella says, "You be Ooj-bakooj, I'll be Powow and Audrey will be Ayayay".  Their worlds are limitless right now.  I love being a  part of it. 

Pinterest

There's a new time suck out there, folks.  It's called Pinterest.  I try to spend my time wisely, but sometimes I get drawn into stuff like this.  There are some great ideas on there and it's fun to look around.  I saw a quote on there a while back, but I didn't "pin" it.  It went something like this...

The reason for your insecurity is that you are comparing your "behind the scenes" with someone else's highlight reel. 

I really liked this.  Underneath the quote someone left a comment saying that's how they feel about most blogs.  I struggle with the happy sunshiny blog thing.  I don't really feel like airing out my dirty laundry to just anyone, but sometimes there's just too much cheeriness on the blog.  Then I think,  I should be cheery, I have a lot to be grateful for.  Sometimes though, it doesn't feel real because we all have ups and downs, right?  Don't you just feel annoyed sometimes when you check a blog and it's so dang happy?  :)  I guess I just want you to know that although I post mostly happy moments on this blog I also have plenty of crazy days too.

Hawaii Pics

 Hanging out in the pool

 Will found a generous friend with a floatie that was almost the size of the entire pool!

 This kid is livin' the life, huh?

A beautiful rainbow

Okay, I'm really behind in the blog posts.  Our trip to Hawaii was before Halloween.  That's how lousy I've been at posting.  I'm on a marathon tonight though!  Here are some of the pictures from the first day of the trip.

Trick or Treating 2011

 My cute little cowgirl princess

 This time he insisted that I paint freckles with his whiskers!

 It is just about impossible to get three little ones posed for the camera.  This is the best we could do!

 Check out Ella's boots y'all!

 Bozzy is also a princess this time around

  Do you see my finger pointed at the camera?  Think she's listening to me? 

 This is even before they had any candy!

 Will remembered that Joan was a witch last year.  She came through again this Halloween.  I love our festive neighbors.

 Mike and Will's joint creation

Hope you all had a happy Halloween!  We had so much fun going around the neighborhood.  It was a pretty chilly night so Mike went home a little earlier with the girls.  Will and I couldn't help ourselves and had to knock on a few more doors.  It was fun running around with him like a little kid in the cold, dark night.  We were rewarded with full size Milky Way bars!  One on one moments with anyone in the family are very special.  I love Halloween so much and it's been fun to pass that along to my kids.  

Kindergarten Harvest Party

 The kindergarteners were supposed to dress up as book characters.  Will is the mouse from, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

 Reciting a poem

 Cutting out jack-o-lanterns

 A sanitary way to bob for apples! 

Will's alien--the kids made creations for snacktime using toothpicks and fruit.

First off I have to say thank you to my mom for watching the girls while I volunteered in Will's classroom.  It was nice to be at the school for a few hours and help out.  Will was so proud of his costume, he nixed the idea of being a cowboy for Halloween and went as a mouse instead.  I think he made a pretty cute mouse, don't you?



Dress Up Day for Teacher Paula's Class

 Audrey on clean up

 My thoughtful artist

Ella is really shining in Teacher Paula's class this year.  It felt a little strange only toting two children in at the beginning of the term.  I definitely felt like Will was missing from the picture.  However, it has been nice to direct more of my focus towards Ella.  It's also fun to see the differences between Will and Ella in how they approach their tasks.  Will would spend a bit of time on the crafts during class and then quickly move on to the free play areas.  Ella, on the other hand will sit quietly with a task until it is completed to her liking.  In the pictures above she is taking her time and painting a pumpkin.  She covered the entire creation with paint.  I love watching her little face as she concentrates, her steady and nimble hands putting ideas onto paper.  This little girl of mine is such a gem.  It's been so wonderful watching her blossom. 

Way Behind...

 Will wanted to be a cowboy with bushy eyebrows and a mustache.  I think the mustache was inspired by daddy!  The first one I drew was unacceptable.  He insisted that it go downwards.  You got it, buddy! 

 My lousy attempt at being a peacock.  I was trying to show off the "tailfeathers" that I made.  I also ordered a cute barrette that did not come in time for the party.  It was kind of an essential piece since it would have made it very clear what I was trying to be.  I'm going to try again next year.  It was also crazy trying to put together a costume with these munchkins around!

 Our Patriots cheerleader.  Looks like she might have gotten onto the field! 

 Go Pats!!!

Cowgirl Princess--Leave it to Ella to choose a combo!  I love this spunky girl.  I need to put a picture of her boots on here because they are awesome.  I'm sure they'll show up in a later post. 

This was our first attempt at Halloween.  We went to a pumpkin carving party so we got to try out the costumes.  Both of the girls were sporting road rash.  That's as gory as we get for Halloween! 

My Rainy Day

Chores
Diaper changing
Slippered feet
Praising train track building efforts
Cozy hot chocolate
Admiring sweet little baby feet that don't like to wear socks
Trying to get my house in order
Breaking up squabbles between siblings
Snuggles

Still thinking of her...

Last weekend Mike and I made a crazy trip to Newport with the kids.  We booked a hotel at the last minute so I could attend a session of the Writer's on the Edge Series in Newport.  Lauren Kessler was the featured author and I was excited to hear her speak.  Afterwards, I asked her how she made time to write when her kids were little.  She said, in so many words, if they are napping you have to push everything aside and take that time to write.  I guess that's what I'm doing right now.  Audrey is sleeping.  Will and Ella are playing together peacefully, at least for the moment and I, I am thinking about my grandmother, again.

 I started working on a project a few weeks ago that I'm still trying to finish.  A little bit at a time, right?  It's a bunting for the fall.  One side fall colors, the other side halloween.  Anyway, I finished cutting out the halloween pieces and today I worked on the fall colors, all from grandma Novie's stash.  So of course I'm thinking about her.  How she would pray when she sewed, probably so she could keep from cursing.  I should pray more, ahem.  Then I took a break, walked into the kitchen to take a sip from my neglected coffee mug, it's contents now lukewarm. As I picked up the butter knife and lifted the tea towel to cut a hunk of zucchini bread for myself, I thought of her some more...  Drinking her coffee, taking a slice of homemade bread, still in the loaf pan in which it was baked.  It wasn't fancy, but it was comforting and homey.  How many times did I walk into her kitchen and cut off a hunk of sweet bread for myself, or some other kind of baked treat?  I could feel even more at home with her than anywhere else in the world.  I sure miss that warm hug goodbye, the sweet scent of a grandma who loves you, my refuge.

There's a rough draft, folks.  Now as I read through this again I have to smile because God gave us that woman to light up our dark world for a time.  She was certainly a bright light in my life and I know many others.  Now go bake up some zucchini bread so you can cut off a hunk at a time until you've discovered you've eaten the whole thing by yourself!  :)

Eugene Women's Half Marathon

My coach looking especially coach like with that mustache!

 My crew

 Slow and steady

 Getting closer...

 Enjoying the post race festivities

All the gals: Kellie, Kara, Marianne, Me, Miss Audrey June

Kara talked me into running another half marathon.  Here are the pics from the comeback race, courtesy of Eric Jensen.  Thank you, Eric!  It was a beautiful day and a great race.  I can't believe how long it's taken me to get back into running after baby #3, but I'm glad to finally be moving this old bod again and I'm grateful that it still moves!  Ha! 

I was a little sad not to be running with the 9 minute mile pace group this time around.  I thought it best to try and shoot for a 10 minute mile pace.  My finish time was 2:05, which was better than expected.  I was nervous when Kara and I started out.  I kept looking down at my watch and seeing nines.  Hmmmm..was I starting out way too fast?  Would I burn out at the end and pay for this?  It felt good to be running at that pace so I decided to keep up with it.  Many times, at the end of a long run, I fizzle out.  During this half I felt like I was able to kick it up a notch after mile 9.  I don't think that's ever happened!  It left me wondering if I could have pushed a little harder.  Luckily I was able to live vicariously through Kellie who did hang out with the 9 minute mile pace group and acheived her goal of running this half in under two hours.  Awesome work, Kellie!!!  It wasn't long after my finish that I heard them announce Kara's name.  What a gritty performance!  I am amazed at her natural running ability.  Did I mention that she has a baby younger than Audrey?  Did I mention that SHE's the one that motivated ME to get back into running?  I can always count on Kara for a much needed dose of motivation.  Mere seconds after Kara crossed the finish line I heard them announce Marianne's name.  My jaw dropped.  She was aiming for 11 minute miles and finished way under goal pace.  Whoa!  I have to tell you that I got emotional upon hearing them announce her name.  Marianne has worked her tail off and I was so incredibly proud of her performance out there.  She really pushed it and looked awesome doing it too!  I should also give a shout out to Juliette who is also a part of this group.  We did quite a few early training runs together and she even got up early on a Sunday morning to come and cheer us on.  We all love Juliette, how could you not?  I'm looking forward to running a race with her soon.  I think she mentioned a marathon, right Juliette? 

At the finish line we were met by Eric, Mike and the combined brood of seven children.  I was pretty impressed with the crew's performance at this race.  Both of the guys made it to several stops to cheer us all on--not an easy task with all of those munchkins.  Since Eric and Mike are both runners themselves I feel like they were extra enthusiastic and supportive of our race endeavors.  Thanks crew!  A special thanks to Mike who has taken on coaching responsibilities too.  It's nice to be able to have an expert to consult!  I'm looking forward to the next race.   

The End of an Era

 What's left from Ella and Noel's tea party

 The kids entertaining us with their musical stylings

 Miriam and Audrey

 The whole gang minus Jen

 The whole gang minus me

 Did these guys really used to be our itty bitty babies???

 Kara and Wendy, smiling their way through motherhood :)

 Ella/Rambo

 Mei Zhen & Shan Li--sweet sisters

 Pic with Claire looking our way

Betsy trying to talk Claire into looking at the camera

Okay, so the blog title is a bit dramatic, but I feel as if I am moving on to a new phase in my life.  Life as a mother to a school age child.  When did that happen???!!!  Many of the gals in the above pictures I met through a class for new moms and their babies.  What a blessing.  I still remember walking into class.  It felt like the first day of high school.  Who would I sit by?  I felt so awkward in this role as stay at home mom.  I was still trying to get my bearings.  I didn't know how to be a stay at home mom.  I'm no suzy homemaker that's for sure!  That first day Marianne and Juliette welcomed me over and I took a seat next to them.  Whew, the hard part was over, finding a place to sit and I scored because these gals were friendly and awesome.  Some things you can just tell about a person.  I remember Trevor with his mad rolling over skills.  He was amazing.  These women saved my sanity on more than one occasion.  They probably aren't even aware of it.  I remember getting phone calls out of the blue from many of these women with invites and let me tell you that mothering should not be done solo.  It's always better with a community and I certainly feel like I have scored with mine.  These women are caring, compassionate, and interesting.  It's been great sharing in this journey with them the past five years.  I'm thankful and humbled by my friends.