Grandma Novie

Once, when I was body surfing in the ocean, a large wave swept over me. It took me under the water. I didn't know which direction was up or down. I felt a surge of panic until the wave let me go and I managed to come up for air. That's how I feel right now--submerged and subdued. However, I feel that the large wave is still looming in the distance waiting to smack me down.

I've been distracted most of the week and have kept my grief at bay, but Friday and Saturday I face the inevitable. I have to say goodbye to my Grandma Novie. Friday is the viewing and Saturday is the service.

Two days ago my aunt called me from my grandma's house. My grandma's name popped up on the tv screen and my heart leapt out of my chest. Grandma! Then I realized I would never get another random phone call from my grandma again. I would never be able to drop in for a visit or call her to ask how she raised 8 kids when I'm barely managing three with the ability to call for take out.

I loved and admired her so much. She loved me too and I'm grateful that I've had all these years to be with her. I'm glad she is at peace now.

Usually I keep things pretty Pollyanna around here on the blog. In so doing, I leave out the juicy stuff. The dirt, so to speak. If my blog has left you feeling like you have a toothache because it is so sickly sweet, read this blog post and it will make you feel better. This is the reality folks...

Imagine the scene if you will...

This entire week has just been a little rough. Nothing extraordinarily horrible, just rough. I think the weather is starting to get to us. I took the kids to the indoor park today to burn off a little energy. We stayed way too long as usual. We are such loiterers. Ugh! One of the other children takes off his shirt just to get comfortable. The next thing I know Ella has hers off too. Okay, I think, this must be socially acceptable. All the other moms are doing it sort of logic. Hmmm....Ella stands before me and starts to take off her pants and then her diaper. "No, no," I say, now realizing the error of my ways. Why would it ever be good to take off your clothes in a public place? Mind you, I am sitting there nursing poor Audrey, who has been patiently waiting to be fed. I don't want to disturb her, so I'm trying to parent while sitting on my fanny. Ella knows this and won't be deterred. She starts taking off her diaper. "No, no," I protest a little louder. She puts the velcro back on, but goes into the play house. Ella likes to hide when she goes #2 so I start to panic and my voice goes up an octave. "Ella, do you have to go to the bathroom?" She replies with a yes, and takes off the diaper. Great, I am THAT mom. You know the one I'm talking about. The one you have sat back and judged. Mmhmmm. That's me! In the meantime, Audrey is still suckling away at my breast. What to do?! I get up with Audrey still attached to me and shuffle my buck naked two year old out the door. What's worse, flashing everyone or cleaning up nasty toddler poo in the playhouse of a public area? I decide to go with a good flashing. It'll make all the other moms feel better about their bodies when they see my disgusting post partum gut oozing out the sides of my jeans. Arghhh! To make matters worse I was wearing my ergo carrier around my waist when I shuffled Ella Jewell off to the bathroom. If you're a mom, you know the ergo carrier does nothing flattering for the muffin top. The detail of the carrier will come into play later in my story. Did I mention there is a man vacuuming as we make our way to the restroom? Please, sir, pay no mind to the boob hanging out of my shirt and my naked child sprinting across the hallway. Bah! Once in the bathroom, I have to figure out how to get Ella onto the toilet seat while having Audrey still attached to my boob. Did I mention I had a baby attached to my breast? Sorry guys. I manage to lift Ella onto the toilet seat one handed. I might be flabby right now, but my biceps are fierce. :) I'm not exactly sure HOW she managed to do this, but her pee actually shot forth from her body. Yeah, that's right, she peed on me and my carrier. The carrier was dotted with a nice little sprinkling of Ella pee. Serves me right for putting her on the toilet seat one handed. I wad up the piece of the carrier that has been urinated on, ashamed that I am the mom now soaked in pee. I adjust Ella a little better on the toilet seat and she finishes up the job. We cheer for another successful pee in a public setting, wash hands and put on a fresh diaper. However, she still will not put on the clothes. I'm not in the mood for a fit. After several calm and patient tries to clothe my heathen child, (I write that with love) I decide I need to try a different route. I gather up the diaper bag and all other possessions and head for the door. Ella rides down the elevator in a diaper, socks and sneaks. She is known as being a fashionista in our household, but this was her boldest statement yet. Finally before we leave the lobby she concedes and lets me get her dressed before we go out into the cold. Whew! I even avoided the tantrum. Score one for mom!

Rockin' the hawk

Well, it's kind of a faux mohawk, but I had to capture it. Check out Audrey. Isn't she cute? Lots of fabulous rolls. I can't get enough of her. She's so dang sweet and happy. She smiles a lot and coos all the time. She has plenty to say to us.

Uncle Jeffro getting ready to set sail

Playing "chest" (that's what Will calls this game)

Ella with her future Aunt Desiree

Desiree taught everyone how to operate the bubbles

This picture is of Ella popping the bubble surrounding her

Brother and sister teamwork

Sometimes Jeff reminds me so much of my dad. I went to the Gilbert house quite a while back when it was only Ella and Will. I remember my dad having a lot of fun in the bubble room. Jeff did too!

This is my favorite picture. Jeff made some pretty awesome bubbles.

Audrey taking it all in

Will on safari. Doesn't he look regal?

Ella was really into dressing up

Ella saying "tweet, tweet"

Jeff being a goofball

I think Audrey was about to fall asleep in this picture

These pictures are from a little while back. I had the chance to hang out with my little brother, Jeff and his fiancee, Desiree. It was so much fun to hang out with them and the kids. There's no way I could have taken an outing like this on my own with my munchkins while maintaining my sanity. Jeff and Desiree helped out a lot and it was nice for the kids to be with their uncle Jeff and future Aunt Desiree. Can you tell that I'm excited for Desiree to become part of the family???? :)

Enjoy the pics!

Angels in the Grocery Store

Taking a moments reprive, I sat down by the fireplace. The kids were worn out from running errands in the morning. I had a moment to catch my breath after bringing the kids in from the car. First was Ella, who I carried in. She laid down on the couch, curled up with a blanket and fell asleep. Will had fallen asleep in the car on the way home. I carried him into the house and laid him down on his bed. Next came Audrey. After Ella fell asleep I sat down to feed her. Glory, glory Hallelujah, Audrey fell asleep after nursing! I laid her down on the couch too and sat down at the fireplace. I looked across the way at my little blessings and thought about how this is the best time in my life--right now. Then I started thinking about our grocery shopping trip. I ran in to two ladies from church. Now, mind you, I happen to attend church outside of my community. It's not too far away, but I usually do no run into people from church here in Corvallis. I have seen these ladies around a few times. I was thinking about how cool these ladies were when it smacked me straight in the face that God had sent me angels today in the grocery store. Not even just these two ladies, but several other friends. The last time I was in there I ran into four or five wonderful people as well. You could say that it's just a coincidence, especially considering that everyone was doing last minute Thanksgiving shopping, but I don't think so. Looking back at my last shopping trip with the kids, it's no coincidence. God is at work in my life. All of these people lauded me with praise for being there with three little ones. I didn't even know I needed the uplifting, but God did. Going grocery shopping with any number of children can be challenging. Imagine me in the store, if you will. Audrey is asleep in the car so I take her seat out of the base and place it in the shopping cart. Hmmmm, where to put the groceries?? Aha, mini shopping carts! Will is going to drive one of those around anyway, so why not put him to work? Sitting in the shopping cart is still a novel idea for Ella, at least for the first half of the shopping trip so that's covered for a little while. There's also a train table in the store. Hey, we can have a little playtime and incentive for being good in the grocery store if I dangle that over their heads, right? It's still crazy, but the shopping trip is going okay. I get some of what I need with just a little screaming from Ella. I'm looking for crazy things like stars of anise and a real live vanilla bean. Ella decides she must get out of the cart and lets me know in no uncertain terms--screaming. I let her down and whaddyaknow she heads right to the bulk candy section. I quickly bribe them and let them choose one candy each. Excellent--let's head over to the cheese aisle. That's where it ends. The train table is there and I give up, take a seat with Audrey who also needs to be tended to at this point. I sit down to nurse her, this is a co-op with lots of hippies so I feel okay about it. In fact, I feel down right conservative because I'm even covering up with a blanket! The quick grocery trip to pick up a few things turns into an entire afternoon, but that's okay because I have the whole afternoon. I have a few conversations with friends in the store. It was only afterward when I had a moment to breathe and reflect that I realized God had sent me all of those angels. There were a few tense moments in the store where I had to try and keep my patience, but with folks around me that cared, I kept it together. In fact, I did better than that after having spoken to them. People lift you up and you are better when you know there are people you love and respect watching you. I was a better mom the rest of the day for it. I'm glad that I opened my eyes up to the blessings that were all around me. I don't always do that. In fact, I feel like it is just recently that my eyes are being opened up to all of the beauty happening all around me. Angels in the Grocery Store: Doris, Berdella, Leonne, Brooke, Erin, George.



Sidenote: Let me tell you about the last shopping trip. The last time there was this sweet woman, who I didn't even know who said, "You have your hands full". She said it with a kind smile, beaming at my children, rather than saying it with foreboding. After she made the comment she completed her sentence by saying that I had my hands full of blessings. I just had to nod my head, beam at my kids too and say yes, yes I do. I was taken aback by this woman. I get that comment a lot (the first part of it), especially when people see me out and about. My children are young. It can be intense sometimes just getting the typical day to day stuff completed. The difference with this instance is that this woman saw the blessing in having young children. Yeah, it's a totally crazy life and if you're in the store with me you'll probably see me take Ella in and out of the cart several times, Will will need to be reminded to slow down with his shopping cart and Audrey will need to be held or fed right in the middle of it all, but this time rocks because I have babies and they are beautiful and healthy. I get to shop for good food and am able to provide for myself and my family. I get to be a mom.

Sidenote #2: Part of getting to be a mom means surviving on little sleep. Please disregard all grammar mistakes and the fact that I have no concept of paragraphs in this post. I don't have the brain power it takes right now to properly edit so I'm just going to put this out there as is. There. I said it. It's just a little frustrating to write at this time because I want to do it, but I'm held back by wanting the writing to be perfect. It's just not going to happen so I'm trying to let go and just get the words down before the moment passes and the memories fade. This is my rough draft.

Halloween III

Practicing for Halloween with a costume from the dress up box

Ella's all ready and showing Daddy her costume

Such a cute super princess, such a proud mommy

This was one of the few pictures that showed her cape

At the door of our neighbor, Nancy

Family pic

So this is the third in the series of Halloween pics. This was the real deal. Will woke up from a late nap crying because he wanted to be Spiderman. That was just not happening! He came to his senses and decided that Batman was pretty cool too.