Grandma Novie

Once, when I was body surfing in the ocean, a large wave swept over me. It took me under the water. I didn't know which direction was up or down. I felt a surge of panic until the wave let me go and I managed to come up for air. That's how I feel right now--submerged and subdued. However, I feel that the large wave is still looming in the distance waiting to smack me down.

I've been distracted most of the week and have kept my grief at bay, but Friday and Saturday I face the inevitable. I have to say goodbye to my Grandma Novie. Friday is the viewing and Saturday is the service.

Two days ago my aunt called me from my grandma's house. My grandma's name popped up on the tv screen and my heart leapt out of my chest. Grandma! Then I realized I would never get another random phone call from my grandma again. I would never be able to drop in for a visit or call her to ask how she raised 8 kids when I'm barely managing three with the ability to call for take out.

I loved and admired her so much. She loved me too and I'm grateful that I've had all these years to be with her. I'm glad she is at peace now.