Grandma Novie

Once, when I was body surfing in the ocean, a large wave swept over me. It took me under the water. I didn't know which direction was up or down. I felt a surge of panic until the wave let me go and I managed to come up for air. That's how I feel right now--submerged and subdued. However, I feel that the large wave is still looming in the distance waiting to smack me down.

I've been distracted most of the week and have kept my grief at bay, but Friday and Saturday I face the inevitable. I have to say goodbye to my Grandma Novie. Friday is the viewing and Saturday is the service.

Two days ago my aunt called me from my grandma's house. My grandma's name popped up on the tv screen and my heart leapt out of my chest. Grandma! Then I realized I would never get another random phone call from my grandma again. I would never be able to drop in for a visit or call her to ask how she raised 8 kids when I'm barely managing three with the ability to call for take out.

I loved and admired her so much. She loved me too and I'm grateful that I've had all these years to be with her. I'm glad she is at peace now.

Usually I keep things pretty Pollyanna around here on the blog. In so doing, I leave out the juicy stuff. The dirt, so to speak. If my blog has left you feeling like you have a toothache because it is so sickly sweet, read this blog post and it will make you feel better. This is the reality folks...

Imagine the scene if you will...

This entire week has just been a little rough. Nothing extraordinarily horrible, just rough. I think the weather is starting to get to us. I took the kids to the indoor park today to burn off a little energy. We stayed way too long as usual. We are such loiterers. Ugh! One of the other children takes off his shirt just to get comfortable. The next thing I know Ella has hers off too. Okay, I think, this must be socially acceptable. All the other moms are doing it sort of logic. Hmmm....Ella stands before me and starts to take off her pants and then her diaper. "No, no," I say, now realizing the error of my ways. Why would it ever be good to take off your clothes in a public place? Mind you, I am sitting there nursing poor Audrey, who has been patiently waiting to be fed. I don't want to disturb her, so I'm trying to parent while sitting on my fanny. Ella knows this and won't be deterred. She starts taking off her diaper. "No, no," I protest a little louder. She puts the velcro back on, but goes into the play house. Ella likes to hide when she goes #2 so I start to panic and my voice goes up an octave. "Ella, do you have to go to the bathroom?" She replies with a yes, and takes off the diaper. Great, I am THAT mom. You know the one I'm talking about. The one you have sat back and judged. Mmhmmm. That's me! In the meantime, Audrey is still suckling away at my breast. What to do?! I get up with Audrey still attached to me and shuffle my buck naked two year old out the door. What's worse, flashing everyone or cleaning up nasty toddler poo in the playhouse of a public area? I decide to go with a good flashing. It'll make all the other moms feel better about their bodies when they see my disgusting post partum gut oozing out the sides of my jeans. Arghhh! To make matters worse I was wearing my ergo carrier around my waist when I shuffled Ella Jewell off to the bathroom. If you're a mom, you know the ergo carrier does nothing flattering for the muffin top. The detail of the carrier will come into play later in my story. Did I mention there is a man vacuuming as we make our way to the restroom? Please, sir, pay no mind to the boob hanging out of my shirt and my naked child sprinting across the hallway. Bah! Once in the bathroom, I have to figure out how to get Ella onto the toilet seat while having Audrey still attached to my boob. Did I mention I had a baby attached to my breast? Sorry guys. I manage to lift Ella onto the toilet seat one handed. I might be flabby right now, but my biceps are fierce. :) I'm not exactly sure HOW she managed to do this, but her pee actually shot forth from her body. Yeah, that's right, she peed on me and my carrier. The carrier was dotted with a nice little sprinkling of Ella pee. Serves me right for putting her on the toilet seat one handed. I wad up the piece of the carrier that has been urinated on, ashamed that I am the mom now soaked in pee. I adjust Ella a little better on the toilet seat and she finishes up the job. We cheer for another successful pee in a public setting, wash hands and put on a fresh diaper. However, she still will not put on the clothes. I'm not in the mood for a fit. After several calm and patient tries to clothe my heathen child, (I write that with love) I decide I need to try a different route. I gather up the diaper bag and all other possessions and head for the door. Ella rides down the elevator in a diaper, socks and sneaks. She is known as being a fashionista in our household, but this was her boldest statement yet. Finally before we leave the lobby she concedes and lets me get her dressed before we go out into the cold. Whew! I even avoided the tantrum. Score one for mom!

Rockin' the hawk

Well, it's kind of a faux mohawk, but I had to capture it. Check out Audrey. Isn't she cute? Lots of fabulous rolls. I can't get enough of her. She's so dang sweet and happy. She smiles a lot and coos all the time. She has plenty to say to us.