I'm Never Going Out in Public Again

That's what I tell myself each time I walk out of an establishment with everyone looking at me and my screaming children. 

This time it was American Dream Pizza.  My friend and I were trying to live the good life.  It was Will's last day of school and I was ready to celebrate the start of winter vacation.  I decided we should go out to lunch.  On the way, my friend Stephanie calls, trying to stir up some fun for the kids.  She tells me she is taking the bus downtown to see the trains (there are a couple of displays set up around town for Christmas).  That sounded great and we decided to tag along to see the trains and THEN get a bite to eat.  Lalala, isn't this always the stay at home mom dream that you've always imagined?  I was even contemplating stopping at Burst's chocolates to get some bon bons to eat while I watched some daytime television as the children napped the afternoon away.  Ha!

Okay, so the trains were actually pretty dreamy.  The kids were having a great time and just excited about life.  It was super cute to see them so happy over the whole set up.  Now it was time to head out for some lunch.  We knew the little people were going to get cranky if we didn't feed them soon.  One of the kids spotted American Dream and wanted to eat there.  Stephanie and I looked at each other as if to say, why not?  Besides, you can hardly walk by that place without getting a slice.  It's a little crazy around lunchtime, but it didn't seem unmanageable.  We stood in line and ordered our slices while the kids sat at a table and colored.  Will may have been trying to lift Patrick over his head, but it all seemed pretty much in control, for the most part.  We gobbled down our lunch and corralled kids.  Stephanie and I had to part ways because it was time for her to catch the next bus home.  That's when it all went to hell.  Something clicked in Ella's brain and she wanted to ride the bus too.  I tried to reason with her, but it was too late for that.  The fit was underway like a derailed Lionel train.  Ever the compassionate friend and mother, Stephanie offered to take Ella with her. The offer was tempting, but I knew I would only be reinforcing Ella's bad behavior by rewarding her tantrum.  I also knew that Will would have to tag along and I just could not, in good conscience, send Stephanie off to wrangle four little ones on the city bus.  I thanked Stephanie for her kind offer and we said our goodbyes.  Meanwhile, we were still in the restaurant and Ella's tantrum was escalating. I bent down to her level and tried to calm her down.  As I was doing so, Audrey toddled away from me, right into the line of fire.  A man walking to the restroom did not see Audrey toddling underfoot. She fell backwards onto the ground and hit her head on the hard floor.  Audrey is one tough cookie, but that was a bad spill.  I immediately scooped her up after watching this go down in slow motion.  Then there was silence.  Wait, I should specify...silence from Audrey, Ella is still wailing in the background.  Then, an eruption of tears from another one of my children.  Poor Will is just hanging out this whole time.  Praise the Lord God in heaven. 

Could it get better?  As I'm comforting my baby, talking Ella down from the ledge and trying to get the heck out of the restaurant, two respected professors from grad school came around the corner.  Someone I know and respect to witness this event in my life.  Alright!  I could not think of anything witty to say or come up with a little joke to offset my circumstance.  I dragged our sorry selves out of there and had to walk a few blocks to the car.  Honestly, I can't even remember how we got there.  I just know that Ella was screaming the whole way and I was attracting a whole NEW crowd of onlookers. 

A sweet woman on the street noticed my predicament and offered some sympathetic words of encouragement.  I really wanted to cry on her shoulder, but alas, Ella was trying to throw herself into oncoming traffic, so my therapy session was cut short.   

It's hard being three.  One little injustice, like not being able to ride the bus home, can throw you into a tailspin. Your emotions can overtake you and you have to learn to navigate them.  That's what this age is all about, mastering your emotions and expressing them WITHOUT screaming like a she banshee. 

Ella has taught me a lot in her three short years of life.  I am growing (albeit slowly) in two areas that I have been praying about and those are strength and patience.  Strength to be the mom that she needs to be.  The person that is in control when she is not.  Also, strength to buckle three children into their car seats in rapid fire succession.